Perhaps I Can Simply Love

I've spent this week separating feelings from truth. Because, as my counselor pointed out, while feelings can sometimes point us toward the truth of a situation, sometimes they are just feelings.  Sometimes they lag behind the truth that we have discovered in a situation, so while our minds understand it, our feelings are still operating... Continue Reading →

Standing Up

Counseling has been getting real these days.  My counselor called me on my constant referral to "the terrible wounds" that have resulted from my marriage and asked me to define them. Off the top of my head, I couldn't. Partly because I had stuffed them into a deep dark hole so I wouldn't have to... Continue Reading →

Opening a Window

I yelled at my small group leader yesterday.  I hung up on her today. And after I called her back to apologize she said, 'Finally.  These are the kind of conversations we need to be having." And she also told me that she is not going anywhere, no matter what I do or say. And... Continue Reading →

Avoid Such People

The verse that has been coming into my mind for the past couple of months, regarding my narcissist husband and the crisis it has brought our family to, is the one that says, "In the last days, men will be lovers of themselves..." I've been taking a little comfort in the fact that this terrible... Continue Reading →

I’m Baaaaaack…

So I'm back from the Philippines. I had every intention of jumping right in and blogging about it, and were it not for jet lag, concurrent with plumbing problems, followed by a virus, followed by a visit from my son, I really might have done that. But I'm doing it now. So thank you to... Continue Reading →

It’s Time To Put Away The Cape, Muffy

I'm completely shut down.  I'm not feeling anything right now. That's what I told my counselor yesterday.  She smiled. And then she pointed out I had spent the past 30 minutes complaining about how the only answers I've received to my Letter to the Pastors, while unfailingly loving, are either somewhat defensive or somewhat vague.  I... Continue Reading →

True Peace Takes Time

This whole new thing I'm doing, speaking up for myself... this whole telling the truth thing. The refusing to continue to keep the peace thing... So as it turns out, when you do that, you don't actually have peace. At least, not right away. I've always prided myself on being a quick study. And then,... Continue Reading →

The Second Scariest Thing

After going on three weeks of my husband being out of the house, and trying to toe the line with pastors and church leaders during this situation, I finally had to write this letter to all of them.  It has become clear to me that there are two contradictory voices speaking into my situation -... Continue Reading →

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