Breaking Bad. Well, Breaking Dishes, Anyway.

That moment when it makes perfect sense to throw a counterful of dirty dishes into the kitchen trash. No, but it seriously did.  It's not that I am completely unhinged. Sometimes, when plain English fails, when polite appeals and gentle reminders and stern warnings also fail, it's the only thing left to do to get...

Honesty To Drown In

Today is the first chance I've had to think for days.  Last week we hit the ground running with our counseling appointment Wednesday and I haven't had a moment to process since. It was good.  I remember that.  Enough good was done that some pressure lifted, because the next two blogs I wrote were not...

I Have 99 Problems…

...and I'm pretty sure that 75% of them are dishes that no one will admit to dirtying. We have instituted a new system in the kitchen. (And by "we" I mean my oldest daughter, who came up with this idea and is convinced it is the Answer To All Things Dish Related, and made such...

Reality Check

That moment when you realize that you can't actually blame ALL your problems on your husband's ADD. Which means you have to own them. Oh. We got a lot of work to do, Scooby....

Remorse

My husband is devastated. He has been wandering in a daze since Wednesday.  Something finally clicked, and he finally got that there's a big, BIG problem between us.  Which, you know, is great, because it's progress, and when you admit there's a problem you can move forward. But it's heart-wrenching to watch him go through...

A Bic Flick of Hope

I'm sitting in this week's counseling session, holding on to the thought I came in with, that this is completely hopeless and the most we can hope for is to relieve some pressure with some behavior modification.  I keep my eyes fixed on the glass fish, and it stares back, mocking me.  Someone moved it...

It’s Tuesday – Surely I Deserve Ice Cream

Today is Tuesday, so according to my emotional schedule, I'm too busy to worry.  In fact, Tuesday is kind of like my Friday, because I have no classes Wednesday and Thursday. So Tuesdays are pretty dang good.  Today was no exception.  I mean, I really ENJOY my high school students Tuesday mornings.  It's nice to...

Wait… was I laughing or crying today?

I'm in kind of a strange limbo these days, caught between the horrendous pain of past events, which have wounded me into the shut-down person I am today, and the events of today, which are not so bad, since my husband has learned better behavior and our relationship is, on the surface, much better as...

Rant Number Four

Yesterday I made a reference in my post to "that blasted glass fish," and then today realized I never posted the post I was referring to. So against my better judgment, since at some point I decided not to publish this, I'm going to publish it anyway. ********** 4 Weeks Ago *********** I called my...

Burn Out

I saw our counselor by myself this week.  I walked away from that appointment floating on air.  For the first time ever, I feel like a therapist understands exactly what I'm dealing with. She sees it. She sees through the well-polished exterior my husband presents.  She's not fooled a bit. This means, of course, that...