A few years ago I started picking one word to represent each new year.
Were I really good, I would be able to produce a list and muse about the progression through the years of the words.
I am, however, a mother, teacher, wife, daughter, and all around slayer-of-drama.
Which means my internal memory card has run out of room for such things, being choked with birthdates, medication dosages, numbers from social security to credit cards, correct spelling of the names of students and their parents, page numbers that apply to the next reading assignment due in any given class at any given time, and sometimes, when I’m really on par, the location of the campus at which I am expected on any given day. This is assuming I know which day it is.
All that to say, I know that last year’s word was “rejuvenation.” I don’t think I did it justice. I mean, it did come true – I started taking better care of myself, making choices to let things go that were stressing me out. The culmination of it was deciding to go back to college. But I still don’t feel like I wrapped my head around the true meaning of the word, and for an English teacher like me, that is nigh unto inexcusable.
I’m off the hook, though, because this year I have a new word.
I’ve been praying about what my new word would be for the past month or so, but just didn’t find anything that fit.
Going through the fire of the past few weeks brought it all into focus. I spent many sleepless nights on my knees, examining my heart and wrestling with myself.
(Lest this cast an inaccurately Spiritual picture of me, let me just confess that half of the sleeplessness this past week was due to a very bad cold, so while I was up, I thought I might as well pray).
The one theme that emerged was that none of my actions were truly meaningful if they were not done in love. When that thought occurred to me, there was a two-second pause in my brain and then a mental forehead slap. Of course! What a duh moment! The word is Love!
Which means I need to go back and read the post I wrote about that a couple of weeks ago. Because my memory card apparently lost that piece of information too.
<whispers> And this is the real reason I blog.