I haven’t written in so long that I’m just going to have to let go of the desire to bring everything up to date.
In the long run, the details of this separation, the shenanigans of my husband trying to manipulate his way back into the house, and the ensuing chaos really won’t matter. So I think I’ll save all those details for the future, when I might need to bring one of the many stories out to illustrate a point.
But I do need to share this episode from yesterday, because it’s just too good not to.
At some point after my husband left, he took the extra set of keys to the car my youngest daughter drives.
Yesterday the inevitable happened – she locked her keys in the car. My other daughter had to drive her to work. I asked my husband to drop off the extra set of keys. Instead he came over, got the keys out of the car, and dropped those keys on the table, taking the extra set with him.
I asked him again to return the extra set, pointing out that we needed to have that here. He replied, “When that set used to be hanging up on the key rack it was always getting lost, so I have to keep them safe, because if we lose that set as well as the set she is using, we will have to pay $1k to get a new set of keys programmed.”
Which would be reasonable if it weren’t for the fact that it’s an established fact around here that he has a problem with losing keys. I have to make extra sets of house keys every 2-3 years. I have extra keys stashed around the house so that if he loses a set, I will have keys to replace them. About ten years ago, I got in the habit of hiding my set of keys every Friday so that I would know where they were early Monday morning when I needed to leave for work. So when that extra set of keys went missing in the past, it was usually him that had left them in a pocket or backpack or the glove box of one of the other cars.
Choosing to ignore the irony, I answered him, “You’re right, we do need to keep them somewhere safe. I would feel better knowing they are in the safe, though. That way, if I do need them, I have them here, but they won’t be out for common use. Come to think of it, we should stash the spare set of keys for your car in the safe too.”
He didn’t answer.
But a couple of hours later he came by to pick up my son for youth group, and handed me the extra keys to my daughter’s car (but not to his), saying, “But I’d rather not have these stored in the safe.”
Let me just assure you that I am not making this up. He really said this next part:
“Because if we put them in the safe, and we lose BOTH of the safe keys, then we won’t be able to get them. So we need to stash them somewhere else.”
I somehow kept a straight face and agreed. I was sitting at my desk, and he said, “How about we stash them somewhere on your desk?”
I looked up and saw a mug sitting on the shelf of the hutch, smiled and said, “How about that mug?” He thought that was an excellent idea and plopped them in the mug.
He failed to notice that the words on that mug described the situation he was creating perfectly, probably because he doesn’t realize that I keep that mug on that shelf specifically to remind myself that these situations are ridiculous and that I don’t need to take them too seriously.
Here’s a picture of the mug:
I’m not really that into karma, but if this isn’t that, I don’t know what is.