I was praying today, frustrated because I see successful brilliant people in the news and wonder why I can’t be around more people like that – why instead am I a magnet to the needy and dependent and narcissistic? I could have been one of those brilliant people. I’ve wasted my life instead on people who suck the life out of me and prevent me from becoming Somebody because they don’t want to get left behind. (You have to understand my inner monologue is frequently fraught with hyperbole).
And I thought (because you know when you’re praying it’s a very good idea to say “excuse me, Lord and Creator of the Universe, I just need to figure this part out on my own”)… I thought I just need to be more successful, that’s it. I need to write that book I’ve always wanted to write the subject of which I still haven’t picked but I know I have one in me. I should start today. So what if my to do list today, as every day, contains more than I can possibly accomplish in one day? I’ll add “write a book” to the list and that will make me fabulously successful and gain me entry into the echelons of the elite.
And the Lord and Creator of the Universe, in His infinite patience and mercy and grace, interrupted my musing with a clear image of my hands, which He had taken by the wrists and was gently lifting up in front of me. And He said, “I gave you two hands. You can carry as much as these two hands can hold and that’s it. That is my design”
And I wailed, “But I’m getting old and I’ve wasted my liiiiffffeee…”
And He said, “That wasn’t a waste. That was research.”