Becoming

Today I had time to spend between work and a dinner with a friend, so I went shopping, took my wedding ring to a jeweler, visited the beach and had a glass of wine at my favorite wine bar… by myself. And I sat there feeling perfectly comfortable at the wine bar and asking myself,...

One Last “It’s All About Meeeee”

I recognize that this blog is quite self-serving. But I need to tell someone this stuff as I go through it, and my faithful 15 readers give me just the encouragement I need. Maybe all this will end up in a book someday. At least, that's what I tell myself to justify being so self-serving....

Love Never Fails

I have spent most of my adult life trying to learn how to love. I just didn't seem to get it. I just didn't know how to do it. So my biggest prayer, my go-to request throughout my adult life, was, "Lord, show me how to love." But I never seemed to improve, and I...

Back To The Drawing Board

I'm back in therapy, dealing with the next stage of this journey, the highlights of which include my recent remembrances regarding the Gorilla and some of my ex's other personality-shards. That and the fact that my daughter got married last week and didn't invite her father. He doesn't even know she's married now. Also, did...

Of Palm Trees and Why I Take Photos

So the thing about having lived with a gorilla... well... the thing about REALIZING you have lived with a gorilla for 30 years... Yeah. It hits a little hard. And I'm fairly aware of how hard it is hitting, because instead of dealing with it, I find myself posting photos of palm trees on my...

The Gorilla I Accidentally Married

The first time I met The Gorilla was about six months into my marriage. I didn't know that was to whom I was talking at the time. My ex and I (let's call him Glenn) lived in an apartment behind a hospital in the early 90s, a charming little complex with a pool and trees...

Blooming

I had some roses in a vase this week, cut from a bush in the back yard. Most of them had run their course and were starting to drop petals but there was one bud that hadn’t yet opened. When I went to throw out the overblown roses I noticed the water had evaporated and...

Two Hands

I was praying today, frustrated because I see successful brilliant people in the news and wonder why I can’t be around more people like that - why instead am I a magnet to the needy and dependent and narcissistic? I could have been one of those brilliant people. I’ve wasted my life instead on people...

Small Victories… Eternal Results

So this year I'm teaching a couple of online English courses. Oh right, hey, hi everyone, yes, it's been, like, a year. Oops sorry. I graduated - got my BA in English. And then a few months later I thought it would be spiffing to go for my MA so I'm doing that now and...

It’s a Good Day To Succeed…. Tomorrow.

Tonight I had to introduce myself at a Bible study and I froze and couldn't remember my name. In my defense I got a concussion in December that I am not allowed to talk about due to litigation. Because it was at a department store and a sign fell on my head. And also a...